I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back

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donechesters:

Have u ever just sat back and actually thought about how much fucking gay porn you’ve read

stardustandstrawberries:

americachavez:

marvel give me a short about sharon’s undercover time as a nurse/steve’s neighbor and that one time she had to fight off ninjas from steve’s apartment while he was like, making dinner and sitting alone reading obama’s biography

With the music turned up really loudly because he’s a gentleman and he thought the noises were her having sex.

Beverly Katz
Behavioral Science Unit, Fibers Specialist

(Source: grandtheftpumpkin)

seriously-mike:

This one totally made my day.

seriously-mike:

This one totally made my day.

becapella:

gayest scene in modern film history

(Source: nomorestraight4malik)

mamalaz:

Drax’s quips were so good

Who do you think was the first person Steve Rick Rolled?

minim-calibre:

jenny-1981:

darthstitch:

typewriterchan:

kisleth:

typhoidmeri:

dopemixtape:

typhoidmeri:

dopemixtape:

Steve discovers Roll Rolling one night while working through the list of music recommendations Sam and Natasha had given him.  At first he thinks it’s a random ad popping up in the middle of the music video. Then he reads the comments. Nearly every one involves swearing and the term ‘Rick Roll’d.’ Google, as always, is unbelievably helpful and Steve laughs out loud to himself upon reading the Wiki page.  

Sam is first.

Steve:  Otis Redding is terrific - thanks for the recommendation. Found one you might like. Let me know what you think.

He pastes the link into the text before hitting send. He smirks and waits.

Sam:  Steve Rogers, you Rick Rollin’ sonofabitch! Dammit, man. Who knew Captain America was such a troll?

Steve’s sharp bark of laughter echoes off the walls.  

Steve: On your left

Sam:  You’re an asshole

Sam:  Fifty bucks says you can’t get everyone else

Steve:  I won’t feel bad taking your money, you know?

Sam:  That’s why you’re an asshole.

image

IDEK you guise.

Steve: Hey, Clint, thanks for the movie recommendations. Pretty in Pink was great. I liked this one too.

Steve carefully pastes the link in and presses send without a moment of regret. He tosses his phone on the counter and opens the fridge. Halfway through making a pile of sandwiches his phone vibrates on the counter. 

Clint: WTF?

Clint: U rick rolled me.

Steve: Sorry, pal.

Clint: UR an asshole. >:( 

Steve snorts and screencaps the texts. 

Steve: one down.

He attaches the picture and sends it to Sam, laughing to himself as he pulls a carton of milk from the fridge. 

Sam: Why am I friends with you?

Steve: My senior citizen’s discount. 

Natasha doesn’t reply. Steve hasn’t heard anything from her in three days, so he assumes she’s off somewhere on the other side of the world kicking ass and taking names.

He’s walking back to his place one night with a couple of large pizzas, listening to the 60s mix Sam made for him when a little blur of red and black lunges at him from the shadows. His attacker sweeps his legs out from under him and knocks him to the ground. He’s prepared to spring to the defense when he sees it’s Natasha. Steve’s laugh is cut short when she presses a pointed heel against his throat. “Dammit, Nat! You made me drop my pizzas. What the hell?” 

She presses her heel a fraction closer and breathing becomes difficult.

Natasha eyes him coolly with her arms crossed against her chest.  ”I’ve had motherfucking Rick Astley in my head for three days now, you little shithead.”

Steve snorts and immediately regrets it. 

Natasha kicks him in the ribs before offering a hand to help him off the ground.

"Share your pizza and let’s figure out how you’re going to get Stark." 

image

(Natasha is having exactly none of your shit, Steve.)

Despite what Tony thinks, Thor has no trouble with Midgardian technology. Humor, yes, but technology no. Steve sends Thor an email, swipes his iPod off the desk and goes out for a run, listening to the 70s mix Sam made him.

unknown number: I hate you.

Steve: Excuse me, I think you have the wrong number.

unknown number: I have the right number, Captain Rogers. Thor has not stopped singing all day.

Steve: I’m sorry, Dr. Foster.

Dr. Foster: No, you’re not. ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ

No, he really wasn’t.

….

Steve finds an acoustic version, heavy on the sitar, of Rick Astley’s notorious hit and asks JARVIS to play it the next time Bruce plays his tea time music.

Two days later they learn that Hulk can’t sing but he can hum.  Rather soulfully, he thinks as he sends a video clip to Sam.

Sam: You fucker, Rogers.

Steve: Five down. One to go.

Sam: Good luck with that one, asshole.

Steve: Better have my money ready, Wilson.

image            (Thor enjoys Midgardian folk tales sung in chanted verse)

Tony is the hardest by far. Steve brings pizza and vodka with him when he visits Natasha, and Clint is there too as a happy accident. He bounces ideas off them and everything he can think of just isn’t enough. They break for the night and he retires to his apartment.

He almost considers giving in to Sam when Tony gives him the answer unknowingly.

Steve is sitting on one of the stools in Tony’s workshop, drawing the Suit (which Tony was tickled over), when DUM-E beeps and nudges his arm. Steve grins and takes the washer they’d been using for ‘fetch’ while Tony mutters to himself and looks over the damage Steve’s body armor had sustained. 

(“It’s impossible!” He’d wailed, looking at the large gashes in the fabric.

"Tell that to my stomach," Steve had replied from the hospital bed where his skin slowly stitched itself back together under the bandages.)

"Hey, Tony." Steve lightly tosses the washer like an extra-small frisbee across the workshop. "Is DUM-E limited to just beeps?"

"No, he has proper speakers, he just refuses to use them for anything else. He doesn’t have the AI functionality of JARVIS. He’s like a baby. A really old baby. Or the mute eldest brother."

Steve smiles brightly when DUM-E comes back with the washer.

——

It’s really easy to get the song onto his iPod.

——

It’s almost easier to get the iPod hooked up to DUM-E and get him to push the ‘play’ button once Tony had settled in.

——

The entire team watches through the (thankfully soundproof) glass wall as Tony shouts and chases DUM-E around his workshop.

Steve: Did it.

Sam: Pics or it didn’t happen.

Steve steps into the workshop and records the song playing as DUM-E zips around, Tony chasing him. It sends it to Sam who doesn’t reply for ten minutes.

Sam: I’m paying you in beer. BECAUSE you can’t get drunk. Asshole.

Steve: That’s Captain Asshole to you.

BEST ENDING OF ALL TIME AMG

Slaps this onto blog.

This is the greatest thing ever to exist

Amen.

bckybhnes:

love yourself and accept the fact that steve rogers is bisexual

(Source: qibbins)

 

shh-put-on-the-cheese-dress:

And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying,image

(Source: jared-pandaleikey)

urulokid:

I’m not saying that Steve Rogers is canonically bisexual

but I am saying that if you had replaced Sam Wilson with a female character, the first conversation they have suddenly reads a lot differently 

iguanamouth:

one of my favorite episodes from atla was where this whole village hated avatars because they thought that kyoshi murdered this guy a long time ago and the whole gang spends the entire episode finding all this evidence that she never did it but the village doesnt believe them and it looks like aangs going to be found guilty but finally near the end her spirit appears to everyone and shes like yeah i killed that guy he was a dick

batched:

struckby21:

nihil-sub-sole-novum:

this is what a good hitler joke looks like

i feel like such a geek understanding this joke

sit down kid literally everyone gets it

batched:

struckby21:

nihil-sub-sole-novum:

this is what a good hitler joke looks like

i feel like such a geek understanding this joke

sit down kid literally everyone gets it

(Source: spacegent)

HL: Hiding and revealing identity is a constant theme throughout the Greek epics.

WG: As are battle-tested friendships.

(Source: willliamgraham)

(Source: othyem)

yunafire:

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